I have been reading the book 'The Greatness Guide' by Robin
Sharma. I particularly like this book because he is a leadership consultant. He
has worked with some of the most successful organizations on this planet. The
chapters are very short and to the point. He is an intelligent man. How short
are the Chapters? Well, I am on page 122 and it is Chapter 55. So far, Chapter
55 has stood out.
Only 3/4 of a page in length, but it is a perfect Chapter.
The Chapter is called 'Pleasure versus Happiness'. What's the difference? In
school, when asked to differentiate between two meanings, I would always start
by defining each word. First word. Pleasure. Pleasure is enjoyment or
satisfaction. Happiness is being content, glad. The difference according to Mr.
Sharma is pleasure doesn't last and it is derived from our five senses. I am paraphrasing,
but his point is, pleasure comes from something on the outside and happiness
comes from within. This point really stood out to me. Why? Let's evaluate
Depression.
Pleasure can be purchasing a new car. Pleasure can be having
a great tasting meal. Pleasure can be skating down the ice. Pleasure can be
from being in good company. Pleasure can comes from its truest form, sex.
Happiness, well, happiness doesn't really exist for someone suffering from
Depression. Pleasure can be affected by external factors. You can have a big house,
nice clothes, fast cars, couple credit cards, but it doesn't always equal
happiness. On the flip side, someone could be living on the street and decide
to be the happiness person on Earth.
During my Depression, I have encountered pleasurable things.
Food, sex, good company, and playing hockey. Was I happy? Not a chance. The
illness prevented that. I know that now. As much as those things were
pleasurable, they didn't last. As soon as you swallow, the food is gone. As
soon as you climax, the sex is over. When your company leaves, they are gone.
When the buzzer sounds, the game over. Pleasure doesn't last. Happiness can.
Am I happy yet? Question cannot be answered it is entirely
yet. Am I beginning to understand the word and feeling more? Yes, 100%. I am
hoping that someday I get to control my happiness. I don't need or want to lead
a life based on pleasures alone, because they don't last forever. Happiness
can. I can die with a smile on my face. I can literally take that to the grave
with me- once I discover it. I am hopeful. Can't take pleasures to the
afterlife with you. They are left behind after your last breath. People will
remember you for your happiness. Not your pleasures.
I look at adultery as the perfect example. People cheat.
Why? Do they want to get divorced, lose their kids, and half of their money and
belongings? Probably not at all. I will speak from the male perspective. Men
cheat because of two reasons. 1) They are unhappy or 2) (which is the most
favourable) They are looking for some pleasure. Something to make them feel
good, but it doesn't last. I am not judging or promoting it, I am just speculating
to as why people do it. I am not a critic. I am not being a cynic. If you know
someone that has cheated, ask them why. It's because of happiness or pleasure,
more often than not. Or lack thereof. That's just my opinion on the matter.
Don't let someone dictate your happiness. Remember, you decide
that. If you are not happy because of people in your life, leave them or work
on the relationship. Don't go through life unhappy. Yeah, I know how this
sounds coming from a man who suffers from Major Depression. But during my time
in the dark shadows, I have done a lot of thinking. I am right. Life can be
hard, trying, and simply unfair at times. During those bad or even terrible
times, a person can still choose to be happy. They can still choose happiness.
It's your life. You only get one shot at it. It's not a game of Mario Superbros
where you can get extra lives by eating green mushrooms. This is reality!
Happiness is real, so I read. You just have to find it, and when you take your
final breath, you will either know you died happy or unhappy. That is up to
you!
"Depression can
seem worst than terminal cancer, because cancer patients feel loved and have
hope and self-esteem." - David M. Burns
Yours Truly,
T.J. Smith
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